The Dreamer

I signed up to take a ten week film acting class a school that has opened its doors in Ferndale, a suburb of Detroit.
We are also going to be renting a house in that city and I am teaching a Burlesque class there. It is my favorite place to be in the metro Detroit area. You can find a concentration of things related to the arts and music. There are still independent coffee houses, organic and health food stores, record shops. There is also improv, comedy, and independent theaters. If I have to be Michigan, I definitely want to be in Ferndale. Being close to all these places is also important as Detroit is not a mass transit friendly city, and we all get around in our own cars. For anyone to build any type of career that requires transporting themselves. One needs to own a car, and keeping the fuel costs down in this current economic climate is very important.
Speaking of Economics… That has been on my mind alot lately in consideration of this new career adventure. I went to a small business seminar at the local library and found out that Michigan also offers classes in learning about business for free as a result of an economic development grant. Becoming a new actor requires an investment, and one to think of themself as a product to sell. I have been attempting to balance my skepticism, with knowing that doing anything and doing it right requires an investment in education (acting classes) and advertisement (headshots).  I just want to make sure I am employing reputable and qualified people to help me with this venture. So I could have got some great new headshots done professionally and gotten them printed, but I decided to take these acting classes first. I think I did the right thing. Even If I did mail my headshot to all the agencies in town, if I got a call I still might not have the tools to perform well at an audition, or do the job. I will continue to use the headshots I currently have, which are fine for now. I have a feeling that they are something you have to get done every 6 months or so anyway.
This week I will be preparing my new home, I have a Halloween burlesque show with the jazz and vaudeville group I perform with, and my first acting class to look forward to.

I was back on the set of the Renaissance festival movie for a while. I got there early enough to watch the set up. It was a cold rainy Michigan October morning and the crew was hard at work. Everyone looked like busy bees with their specialized tasks. It rained most of that day. It was just awfully muddy. The actors were in such elegant costumes walking though the mud.
I went to yet another acting seminar. This one was run by a casting director. We only skim the surface of acting methods in seminars, but I do learn something. I have to work on my memorization skills. The casting director said to practice my memory skills everyday.  So on set every day while I am waiting around for the next scene as a stand in. I memorize the lines from the sides. I really liked working on this movie, and I am going to miss the crew.
That is what I am finding working on new projects is like, when you start making friends and becoming comfortable, it is time to go.
   Last week I worked on a show for the big ten network as a production assistant. I spent most of the week at the University of Michigan. It is a show about the faculty, and the interesting things they are doing. I spent a lot of time running around picking things up, parking cars, driving people around.  The days go much quicker when working as a PA with plenty of things to do, but I do enjoy being a stand in on a film set because it helps me learn blocking, and gets me acclimated to the film set environment.
There is a dramatic arts school is starting in Ferndale, an artsy suburb of Detroit. It teaches acting for the camera in a 10 weeks long course. I am thinking of taking it. I think it is the best step to take if I really want to be serious about this, and get to the next level. I am on set, and that is great, but I would like to be on set speaking lines in front of the camera. Even if it is just a sentence like most of the parts the Michigan actors are getting.
I am going to look at a house to stay in tomorrow. My boyfriend and I were staying with his parents when we were planning on moving to Los Angeles. We have decided to make the best out of Michigan’s Film incentive program for another year, but we need space of our own. This will be an opportunity for me to build my skills for this new career and break in here where the cost of living is much lower, I have contacts, and already know people. I feel like I have already gotten in at the early point of something big here, and want to build on it. I want to experience other places and people, but I feel the most logical move is to stay here, and work with what I have in this much smaller market where I am already ahead.
but … the dark cold winter… It is on the way. I am going to make the best of it.

     I responded to a craigslist add for extras for college age looking men and women. I got a response asking if I had a grey suit to look like a conservative business professional. I never wear suit coats, but I picked one up because it was such a good deal, and I anticipated that I might need something like that one day. The problem was that and much of my other clothes were all in our storage unit. I have had a couple of those situations now, and decided that it was time to get all these clothes out to grab some of these jobs.

The shoot was in Flint which is an hour away from where I stay.  I drove to a parking lot for an office building, and checked in at base camp. I found out that I had worked with the same production coordinator on my last movie. I heard him on the walkie saying that one of the women slated to be a stand in had not shown up, and because I had experience in that department he asked me if I would work that position. Of course I took the offer.
I felt welcome by the DP and Assistant Director, and was utilized quite a bit more than on the previous film. I pulled double duty that day, and worked as an extra in the afternoon. This crew is so nice, and friendly for the most part.
They called me again to work on Friday at a different location. It was outside at a lake, and wilderness and was beautiful all day. I got asked back on Saturday to work. It was at the Michigan Renaissance Festival, and it was open to the public. This was absolutely crazy. The production assistants did an amazing job of keeping the public back the best that they could. I am amazed at just how stupid the public can be. Yes it is really cool that there are movies shooting around here, Yes it is really cool that we have celebrities showing up around town. I don’t think they realize or care that people are working at a job. Not only that, but working at a job for 12 hours plus a day, and by them getting in the way, making noise, and just acting stupid they are prolong getting things accomplished. At one point the production assistants were keeping people out of the way, and I heard someone say, “This is America I will walk where ever I want.”

There was a scene in the crowd where a crane for the camera was being used and people were stepping under it and staring aimlessly at it while it was moving right towards them. They were like deer in headlights about to be hit, and we tried to keep them out of the way, but they just kept walking into dangerous areas. Sometimes they would do it on purpose. They would walk right past us when we told them to stay out of the way. I had to tell one mom that it would be dangerous for her to walk with her son though the set because of the giant machine arm that could hit them in the head. Then she finally listened to me, and walked the other way.
We are extremely lucky to have the film industry in our state, it is pumping money into our dying economy that is no longer being fueled by our staple which was the automobile industry. I wish the general public would realize that and be more accommodating to the work that needs to get done, and the people that are working here.

    Monday I worked as backround… or extra. I am not sure if they are one and the same, or if they are different. It is going to be a movie shown on TNT.  I got costumed and made up to look like a person in the early 60’s. I was perfect for the look they wanted, especially my hairstyle with bettie bangs. The tattoo on my leg did give some complications. Wardrobe and makeup were going back and forth to decide whose job it was to cover up my tattoo. I am now investing in several pairs of tights and going to investigate some online product so I can be prepared. People don’t like complications, and I want to be as easy as I possibly can to work with. I was in a girdle and high heels, and three pairs of children’s tights all day.  It was not very comfortable.

We were a small group of extras and were utilized a lot throughout the day.  If I make it past editing I should be in quite a few shots. I actually got direction on acting for several shots. It was great.

I had an audition with an actual talent agency. I think it went quite well. She casts more principal roles. She said she will start submitting me. I asked for a recommendation on an acting coach.

When I was contacted to work on my first movie, over a month ago, I started practicing roller skating at the nearby skate rink. I did not have to skate while working as a stand in, but got contacted to work as a photo/skate double for work.
I was a bit nervous and wanted to be as prepared as possible, so I called all my friends in roller derby hoping to attend a practice, or to just brush up. Then I decided I was being too overly nervous. I went to set last night. It was great to see these people that I keep thinking I might never see again, but keep getting called back to work.
We actually got a trailer last night. They are horribly decorated, and filled with up to date equipment such as a tape deck, but very comfortable, and very clean. It was like a mini camping trip. I could see the skyline of the city of Detroit from where we were positioned. I watched the sun set over the towers of Renaissance Center. I wished I could have brought a camera on set. It was amazing.
I waited around for 5 hours socializing with other photo doubles. Three derby girls, one pro skater, and one aspiring actress like myself. Then they costumed us just like the actresses, but only from the knees down. Then they “flew” us to set. Where we were welcomed by the director and crew. She is always so welcoming and nice. We jumped out of a van with skates on a few times, and skated forward. They were only shooting our skates, and calves. They used us for that one shot, and then sent us home.

The movie I was an stand in on is wrapping up. One day last week we were filming in a residential neighborhood.  All the people had set up camp in their front yards and began to watch the filming. They had video cameras and were taping, hoping to catch a celebrity.  I was wondering if they would think it was still cool when it was 2am and we were still there making noise.
     At about 3am we were filming a scene in the back yard, and a photographer was trying to shoot pictures from the neighbors roof.
    I sent out my resume including to a few talent agencies and they have both responded. I have an interview later this week to meet in person with one of them.
     Tomorrow I start work as an extra on another project. It is a period piece set in the early 60’s and I love wearing vintage style clothes.
    Things are really happening here in Michigan, and we have decided to stay a bit longer instead of moving to L.A. I think it is the best thing to do to establish this career. Even though I really want to live in a new city, and experience new locations. It is more important to take advantage of this great opportunity.
    I went back to my rural Michigan hometown this week, and went swimming, fishing and biking. I saw undeveloped natural surroundings for miles around, and for the first time. I appreciated it, instead of just wishing I could get out. I have spent my whole life wanting to be somewhere else and feeling trapped here. Now I can get out, and the things I have always wanted have started to exist here instead of 3000 miles away.
    I have to get up for a 6am call time, have to figure out how to fall asleep.

This morning I drove home west into a giant setting moon at its fullest, shining a mild orange color. “Day divides the night, night divides the day” lyrics running around in an insane mind. Lack of sleep, lack of sanity. Day has become night, night has become day, my whole world is turned upside down. I had a call time in the after noon of 3:15 pm, and I didn’t get wrapped until around 6 am. We were shooting at a place where my mom told me never to go in the daytime, let alone stay all night long. I was right by the sound cart when we heard a couple of rounds go off before a take, as the sound professionals estimated what type of artillery had been fired. I did feel safe amongst a whole company, with plenty of security, and police presence. We were transported back and forth in vans to the base camp and the bar where the scene was taking place.
A crew of men set up lights in all kinds of places and ways trying to get just the right look for a moving shot along the bar. They experimented with various different ways to light this tiny bar. I am going to do a study on the DP on this film. I have done studies in the past, where I watch all the movies by one director or DP. This will be the first study I do where I have been able to observe the way the DP works, observe his methods, and then watch the movie. I am really excited, and the last movie he did is next in my queue.
After spending two weeks in a dirty hot old steel mill. It was a welcome change to be taken to shoot in a Yacht club overlooking the Detroit river and Detroit skyline for a day. I called up one of my old clients who is a member there, and he visited me in my downtime. He told me that with the films coming to town, he has had trouble finding crew for the projects he produces. We now have a plethora of work to do here with a limited number of skilled workers. I know we have plenty of workers here who have lost their jobs in the auto industry, and have taken buy outs, or are collecting unemployment who could do these jobs, but I do not think they realize that these films coming to town could be potential work for them. This has all happened so fast, I don’t know if people are connecting the two.
My new skill is easy. Wait around, stand there, and do what they tell you to do then get out of the way. It took a few days to learn the language of a film set, but I got used to it. The issue for many has been the long hours of waiting around and doing nothing. Fortunately working as an edit assistant for four years prepared me for this mental and not so physical discipline. The key is making sure you exercise everyday in your own time. While others are in awe and even insulted by being asked to work such long hours. It is nothing new to me.
I have been getting braver and talking to people, it isn’t the most welcoming environment to just start up a conversation, but after people see you there for over a week, you start getting the feeling it is okay to talk to them. So I asked video assist all the questions I was dying to know. Video is simultaneously recorded while the film is being shot for review purposes. These are things you don’t know or think of as a viewer, but it makes so much sense. Instant playback. How strange that there were years where they just had to guess and hope things turned out okay, and then wait for the film to develop.
I am learning so much. I try to observe and take in as much as I can. The performance for me comes not only from the actresses, but watching this whole production happen from each and every person who is working on it.

Wow. I have spent the last two weeks working as a stand in on a film. It has been my first experience on a real film set.

     It all happened so quickly. I didn’t believe it myself until I got there, and it really happened. On the first day I was determined to get there on time, and researched the route, but despite leaving with plenty of time. There was an overturned semi, on a major freeway, and I ended up being late. I was so scared I had blew it, but it was no big deal. I and the other stand-ins were all new to this job, and we helped each other the best we could. It was really intimidating to be thrown in on your first film with such an experienced and celebrity cast and crew, but I think we have done really well.
    The days have been long, and seem to blend together, my life has been a rotation of working and sleeping without time for anything else. I feel well prepared for this type of work because of the time I spent working in post production as an edit assistant, both jobs involved about 80% sitting around and waiting for someone to tell you what to do, and 20% of actual work for hours and hours beyond a normal 9 to 5. The mental discipline, and being able to find productive ways to spend your down time is a real asset in both jobs.
    The actual work of this job involves standing in place for the actress while the crew adjusts lighting, and camera placement. You are basically a movable object. No one really explains to you when and how to do this. No one really explains when you are done, and supposed to get out of the way. You just want to make sure you stay long enough for the crew to get ready, but not long enough to get in the actresses way.
    Our location is in a very dirty warehouse. The first week was unbearably hot. I was working with some of my heroes and favorite actresses and I know I must have smelled so bad. I knew I needed to go get some “freshening up” supplies. The trouble was finding the time to go shopping, with the 12+ hours on the job, 45 minute drive there and back, and actually sleeping. I decided it was of vital importance to maintain a better image, or rather scent to do this work regardless of dirt and temperature. I also looked around at the choice of footwear most of the crew was wearing and knew I needed to get more comfortable shoes. That however required waiting until the weekend.
The first chance I got I went and bought some better shoes, a camping chair, and a battery powered fan water bottle device. My second week was much more comfortable.
    Most of the crew is in from Hollywood, but there are a few from Michigan. It seemed as if the first week was a test to see if you were actually going to stay. Making it through the long hours on your own accord, and if they were going to keep you. It is like the first week you are so star struck and in awe, then after 14 hours in hot dirty sticky weather the glamour wears off, you and everyone else there are miserable regardless of how famous they are. It stops becoming such a great thing, and starts becoming a job like anything else. You are just trying to make it through the day, and do your job.
    On Friday I actually got to read a line in rehearsal amongst a group of my favorite actresses. I was so intimidated, but trying not to seem intimidated…The sentence came out of my mouth so differently than I had planned it in my head. I probably sounded kinda lame, but I did it. I said it.. The words actually came out of my mouth, I didn’t cave, and that seemed like a victory.

   Everyday is so surreal, and wonderful.

Sunday night I got an email from a woman at a casting company looking for extras to audition for a movie called “Youth in Revolt.” They were having an actual audition for the extras, because some of them would be needed for close up shots. Monday I was out with a friend shopping and I got a call from another casting company that was casting the Drew Barrymore movie, “Whip It” that I had already been on the email lists. The woman told me out of 3000 emails she was looking at, I seemed like something she was looking for as an extra, or possibly even a stand in. They were asking for people who knew how to sign, and how to skate. These are things I have done in the past. I have deaf family members, and know some sign language, and I grew up roller and ice skating. I am sure I can do those things again.
The next afternoon I went to a nearby skating rink to prove to myself I could still skate. The outside of the building is purple, and the interior and exterior have stayed in true 1980’s decorative fashion with busy speckled patterned carpet, and Peptobismal colored benches. It took me back to days in elementary and jr. high school when roller skating was the coolest way to spend you time.

It was 11:30 in the afternoon on a weekday, and I wondered who could possibly be at the skating rink at this time of day. It turns out adult open skate is actually a type of class or get together for roller skating dancers. There were ladies dressed in fancy costumes, and men accompanying them. The gentleman who runs it calls out different types of dance moves, and then they perform that step. I couldn’t believe the shape a 70 year old women was in. She had great looking legs.

I soon discovered it was a good idea that I practice before I went on set. I was a bit wobbly at first, but I got the hang of it again. Then I remembered that you have to stop as well as skate. I practiced that again. I spent about an hour and a half just circling the track listening to quite possible the worst music ever. It was renditions of the kinda music you have to sing in high school choir class played by only one instrument a church type organ. It was like rollerskating around again and again in a giant elevator. I drowned it out by convincing myself how awesome it was going to be skating on set. The guy who runs the class was really nice, and even instructed me on turning and skating backwards. I was looking forward to going to see a heavy metal show that night more than anything, to drowned out the memories of all that organ music.

That night was the Cavalera Conspiracy/Dillinger Escape plan show in Pontiac. I was still waiting to hear back from casting on Whip It, so I had my calendar print outs (I really need to get some type of PDA phone with a data package.) folded up in my pocket with a pen and my mobile phone. I didn’t know how I would answer a phone in the middle of a metal show, but I guessed I would dart down to the bathroom and hope it was quiet enough. I took it easy on myself that night, and passed up after partying with friends so I could get enough sleep in preparation for my audition the next day.

I drove to an office building where the auditions were supposed to be at 2:15, and then found out that they were moved to a High School at 3pm. The school was actually were they were filming the movie. There were giant electricity boxes, trucks filled with equipment, what I am assuming were trailers, and security guards at the entrances. It was amazing. This is the first time I have been on an actual film set. I thought it was big time, but when I got in we were told that this was actually a small budget film. We filled out applications and then were taken into the gym, lined up with our numbers in front of us, and then someone looked at all of us, and started whispering numbers to the casting company lady. She then went down the line to tell us who could stay and who would be going. My number was not chosen to stay, but I was still completely ecstatic. I had conquered my fears, and went to an actual audition. I had stepped foot on an actual film set.
I also still have “Whip It” to look forward to starting next week. I have been brushing up on my ASL through some really great web sites.

    My boyfriend started working on set this week as a boom operator. He has informed me there are tons of lingo used on a set that one would never even think about. Terms for walking through with sharp objects, special words for clothes pins, etc. He has been gone for 12 hours plus a day. I was surprised to see him come home with a big smile on his face working that long after his first day. It apparently is a type of horror movie which is a genre he is very passionate about. He did not know this when he took the job. It was a great surprise upon reading the script.
I got head shots taken. I had a very talented friend with a good camera as my photographer. I also coordinated with a makeup artist friend. She is doing my make-up and teaching me techniques to do my own. We have decided to form a bit of a beginners “Time for Print” club. We are all new and nervous at our various skills but we all want to work to improve them. A photographer, a makeup artist, a hair stylist, and me a model/actress. Since we are all new, there will be no fear when we eventually work in more qualified and professional endeavors. By working together it helps us gain confidence and experience. We looked at a most of them, and they turned out wonderfully. We are both knowledgeable in photoshop, and will get them in great shape in no time. Then I will hit up the agencies in town to try to get more extra and stand in work, and take some more classes.
I prepared by reading a chapter from “Acting is Everything.” by Judy Kerr. There is a wealth of information I am just starting to dig into. I never realized there was so much to getting a head shot taken. I never realized there could be so much emotion conveyed by a single still frame picture, but it is true. I practiced earlier this week by snapping photos of myself with my photobooth function on my computer, and thought of various topics and feelings when I was snapping photos, and there is a big difference between them. I have begun to concentrate on my own eyes, and the eyes of characters in the television and films that I watch. I have been into the third season of the show, “Lost” and watched “The Dark Knight” this week. I find that the actress Maggie Gyllenhaal communicates much of her character and her emotion in her eyes. They are a beautiful feature of hers, therefore call attention, but she does not only communicate beauty with them. Lost’s Matthew Fox seems to communicate a bit of intense insanity behind the eyes of the heroic leader that he plays. I wonder if these are strategies they control as they do movement and words, or if they naturally seem to happen for them.
Acting is the first thing I ever knew I loved. When I first entered adulthood I almost did give it up for “rational” thinking and planning. I feel so blessed alive and hopeful for the first time in a long time, that I am able to follow the path I am supposed to be on. I am so thankful to all these books I have been reading and the seminars that I go to full of people who have experienced the same fears and doubts, but also have that voice inside their head, and feeling inside their heart, that tells them this is what they are supposed to do with themselves regardless of what others might think, or the risk that they take.
As I was writing this, I got an email from a woman who is a casting director. She is a friend of a friend’s mom. I have an ACTUAL AUDITION for an extra role on Wednesday. OH MY GOSH!!! Okay.. much research to do in three days… Thank goodness I went to those seminars, I actually have some clue of what happens in one of those…Well everyone has to start somewhere… Here I go.

I spent yesterday at a certain department store’s one day sale looking for casual contemporary clothes in efforts to build an economical, yet “normal looking” wardrobe. I wanted to find a shirt for my head shots that wasn’t black. A majority of my “normal” looking clothes are black and I decided that I should probably increase the colors that I have…. Ironically though the first movie I will be an extra for is for the film “Whip It” about Roller Derby directed by Drew Barrymore. In real life the Roller Derby community is full of tattooed and pierced punk, goths, rockabilly girls, and anything in between. The style of look that I am more comfortable and accustomed to, and all ready have a closet full of. I have been wondering how to market myself. If I should try to adapt to a more conventional look, or if playing up what I am and what I already have. I think I should do both. My only question is, will one hinder the other?
I had been applying to be a part of the film as crew, and as and extra, and I got an email from the extra casting company recently. I am beyond excited about this opportunity. I was a roller derby cheerleader for the Detroit derby girls when they first began having bouts here in Detroit. I saw a group of women build the organization up amongst themselves and turn it into an amazing thing. I am so glad that they decided to shoot the film here, and that I am going to be a part of it. It is amazing that the first film I am going to work on is on this great subject.
My boyfriend was working in post all last week, helping out on the transfers for “The Prince of Motor City.” He sent me a text message saying, “too many local extras can be seen looking at the camera in the backround .” So at least I know one thing about being an extra that I will not be doing. He is excited to be working as a boom mic operator for the first time as well. He has been reading the script for the job he is going to spend the next five weeks preparing and familiarizing with the content.