Brandie Posey moved to Hollywood in January 2007 and has been working steadily as a PA ever since. She has worked on numerous television, film and music video productions including: “Deal or No Deal”, “House M.D.” “American Inventor” & “Hot Guys who cook”.
Her ultimate career goal is to be a comedy writer and producer, and knows deep down in her heart that getting coffee for high strung executives will get her there someday.
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Daily Blog
August 21, 2008
So. Because being a PA is freelance, you have to get your own health insurance seperately from any production company you work for. But last April, mine, (Blue Shield of California) decided to drop me because my credit card was close to the limit and a payment didn’t go through. As opposed to calling/emailing/sending me a letter about this, they did nothing, just quietly took me off their list. I have automatic payment on my card, so I never really look at the transactions unless they’re way off what I expect them to be. So I didn’t notice that I wasn’t getting charged until a few weeks ago when I got a bill for a few hundred dollars from a doctor’s visit. I called in a frenzy, we figured out the problem and I had to reapply and also submit an appeal to have my insurance restarted. I just got a letter in the mail saying that my application for coverage was denied, so now I am fully dependent on the appeal going through.
I was just denied health insurance from Blue Shield of California for two reasons:
1. “unexplained fatigue”
2. “additional concern is depression”
Well you glorified telemarketing FUCKS, maybe if you got off your asses and worked a 14 hour day on your feet, then came home and spent time pursuing a dream career of writing and performing comedy every night, then you might be able to explain some of that fatigue… but that would involve having some kind of goal or ambition besides a midlife crisis when you’re 40 and realizing you didn’t have the balls or talent to go after something you were passionate about besides watching TV and getting fat. You’re the unimaginative, smug townie that married your highschool sweatheart and puts Cathy cartoon clippings from the Sunday paper in your cubicle to mask the fact that you don’t see sunlight from 9-5, 5 days a week… you are the fatted cows for the American Dreams of mediocrity and sloth. So I’m tired and overworked, and I told that to my old doctor, who decided that it was a concern that a 24 year old girl was pushing herself to be all she could be instead of giving up and getting 10 hours of sleep a night.
And I do have depression. Want to know why, asshole? My grandmother, the woman who was a second mother to me, who basically raised me and taught me everything that I value and am proud of in myself, died suddenly a little over a year and a half ago, right before I moved to California. I stayed home until after Christmas, but knew if I didn’t leave then, then I never would and I would regret it. But California is a cold, lonely place if you don’t have good friends to surround you when you need them, and being 3,000 miles away from a family torn apart by grief is hard for anyone. So I got a therapist to help me cope with it, and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I grow as a person every day and am happier than I have been in a long time… but depression is still apparently written on my medical charts.
I don’t drink, never have. I don’t smoke, never will. I have never touched a drug a day in my life. I exercise every single day. I watch what I eat. I’m not overweight. I have not been sick in over a year. I am a good kid. I am extremely healthy. Yet you won’t give me health insurance? Why am I being punished for taking the road less travelled? Does something about me scare you, big corporation? I’m sorry I’m honest and in touch with my feelings and I don’t drown them out with $2 happy hours and reruns of American Idol.
Shame on you. Go fuck yourselves.
August 18, 2008
Hey all!! This week I’m going to do some shameless self promotion. I’ve got a stand up show this Wednesday in Hollywood!! If you’re free, come check it out. Here’s the info:
12 comedians. 5 minutes each. And super super cheap alcohol. What more could a kid want?
Featuring the comedic stylings of:
Alisha Gaddis, Susan Coletti, Lane Moore, Andy Ostroff, Tilt, Meg Murphy, Dustin David, Emily Brochin, Rebecca Stevens, Brandie Posey, Jamie Brunton, Vanessa Ramos, Jeremy Evans, Kevin Garbee, Charles Ball
$10. See you there!
Date: Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Time: 8:00 - 10:00 PM
Location: The Next Stage: 1523 N. La Brea Hollywood, CA
I know a few of these comics and they’re awesome, funny people, so it should be a bunch of fun. My set will be me talking about: knife fights, emilio estevez, baby showers, scatting and Bob Saget. I promise to be funny, or at the very least bomb in an amusing fashion.
Come on out!
August 14, 2008
So. Hollywood has finally become the godless heathens that we have for so long been considered by the conservative Right. Behold, devil spawn: 
Read this article (and then come back, post haste, I’m more entertaining than the news, promise).
http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/science/08/05/clone.dog.ap/index.html
Earlier this month, a “screenwriter” decided, for $50,000.00, to clone her dead dog because she missed him. Really? Is this what the Writer’s Strike was about, so we could spend our DVD residuals on cloning dogs? Is that why I worked on shit reality TV for 6 months? I see nothing on IMDB under her name… by these standards, I’M a screenwriter. So someone should give me $50,000.00 so I can blow it on building a Frankenweenie.
As someone with only a couple bucks to their name, I am appalled. You might argue that it’s the same as spending money on an expensive car, but I don’t think so… cars aren’t living, breathing things that we made from the dead… although they are fueled by dead dinosaurs, so maybe I should rethink that analogy. Oh fuck it, this is a free blog. Live with it.
If you want to honor your dead pet, then donate that money to a shelter, Lord knows they need it. Or adopt another animal, hell, adopt 100 animals for $50,000.00! There are so many dogs put to sleep every DAY in Los Angeles alone… and here is someone deciding to clone 5 MORE! Really? At the very least, you’re disrespecting the wishes of the late host of The Price Is Right. Bob Barker might not be dead, but he left the show… and that makes him dead to ME… my dreams of the perfect showcase showdown have been destroyed… along with Booger the cloned dog’s dignity in death.
Good Lord. People are idiots and don’t deserve anything they get. I hope her clone dogs grow up soulless and bite her face off. And you know they don’t have souls… or at least they each have 1/5 of a soul. She should have made 7 puppies, and they could be her Horcruxes, just like Lord Voldemort. They’re both pretty evil in my book.
You know what makes me proud? Dissing someone with a Harry Potter reference.
I’m telling you, the end of the world is near. I really, REALLY hope this doesn’t become a trend. Hollywood already remakes way too many movies… can we agree to draw the line at remaking our pets?
Or at the very least, stay away from purple eyeshadow, k?
July 28, 2008
Dust off the cobwebs, stretch those muscles, Brandie’s back! Did you miss me? I know, I would miss me too. Sorry for the 2 week hiatus, but I have been away on vacation and promised myself I wouldn’t bring my laptop so it would be a TRUE vacation… I am a workaholic, so it’s hard to actually let myself go and do some real relaxing, recharge a bit. I have been in Miami and on a cruise to the Bahamas with my 2 best friends from home! It was awesome because we usually only get to see each other once or twice a year, and we try to spend those brief moments in style… Too bad we were in Miami, where everyone dresses in Ed Hardy religiously. So style was… lacking to say the least. You can head over to my myspace if you want to see my vacation photos… add me as a friend, leave some silly comments! No creepy stalkers allowed though, kthanks.
Anyway, I’m back, broke and burnt. Which means I’m looking to pick up some extra cash on the weekends… so someone should hire me. I’m looking specifically at anyone related to the Bob Saget Comedy Central Roast that’s happening this weekend. Hook a sister up, I want to work it!
I was a seat filler for the Comedy Central Roast of Pamela Anderson a few years back, and I consider it one of the best nights of my life. As a seat filler, you basically stand on the side and when someone famous gets up from their table, you rush in and take that seat so the cameras always shoot a full room in wide shots. I zeroed in on a table with two of my favorite comedians - Dom Irrera and Lewis Black. I hovered nearby waiting for someone else from their table (some disinterested soap actresses) to get up and powder their noses or check their blackberries or do some coke in the bathroom. What? They looked the part.
One of them finally did and I swooped in on the table, my inner comedy nerd squealing with joy over just being NEAR these guys… They introduced themselves (not like I didn’t already have whole bits of their memorized) and asked where I was from.
“I’m from Maryland, but go to college in Philly.”
Fun fact: Lewis Black is from Silver Spring, MD. And Dom Irrera is from Philadelphia, PA. Add to that the fact that I had just finished and LOVED Lewis’ new memoir “Nothing’s Sacred”, and by the time the girl whose seat I was filling came back, she was shoo’ed to another table by my new comedy uncles. We sat back and riffed on Andy Dick and the other freakshows in front of us, and I have to say, one of the highlights of my life so far is seeing Lewis Black crack up at something I had said. Nothing is more motivating that knowing that someone whose craft you respect think you’ve got it too.
The Roast ended after 3 hours and I stood up to say goodbye to two of my favorite people, but Dom shook his head and said wait a minute. He left and came back in a few seconds with 2 passes to the Roast’s afterparty, one for me and one for my friend Meghan who was also seat filling with me. We all locked arms and headed over to hang out and just shoot the shit for a few hours.
By the end of the night, I had plans the following week to check out Dom doing a set at the Improv and grab dinner to talk comedy. I got some amazing advice and I don’t think he knows how much that meant, knowing such a prolific comedian would take any kind of notice in me. I might talk tough guys, but I promise I really don’t have an ego, at all. I get incredibly insecure because making a living in this crazy world of entertainment is so uncertain and so competitive, but I try to think back on moments like that, where I just KNOW I’m on the right path.
So thanks Pam Anderson, for having boobs that are so big someone spent millions for comedians could make fun of them for 2 hours.
Anyway. The Bob Saget Roast. Someone get me in. It’s been a while since I’ve seen my buddies. Plus I’d really like to grab Dave Coulier’s ass.
July 8, 2008
So, once again I’m under the gun on an assignment… life gets really hectic when you work in production and you try to balance any kind of semblance of a life, let alone a creative career of your own. So, this week I give you my Top Ten List assignment from last week’s writing workshop, since these aren’t for a Letterman packet and they’re not going to be relevant in a few weeks anyway. I promise next week you guys will get a fun story, right now time is just way too tight for me to write something that I would consider blog-worthy for you… so hopefully these entertain you for the moment.
Top 10 Reasons Verne Troyer Does Not Want You To See His Sex Tape:
10. he had just gotten home from filming Dunston Check In 2, and doesn’t want you to think he’s a furry
9. his girlfriend is a beautiful woman, and no one wants to see THAT naked.
8. the mini-me pun’s have been old for almost a decade.
7. one word: tripod.
6. one word: tripod. for the camera. he’s embarassed of the poor production quality.
5. in the video his girlfriend tosses him in the air like a child. he does not want you to think this is ok.
4. he’s really 5′9″, he just wears a little man suit
3. unflattering angles
2. he doesn’t want Mike Myers to get another film idea. ever.
1. his apartment is a mess
::cue Paul Schaffer and his creepy baldness::
The second list requires a small set up. Last week the website http://www.toothartist.com/ launched… they are a new company that tattoos people’s teeth… and David Letterman is one of the examples. 
Creepy, right?
Top Ten Reasons Tattooing David Letterman On Your Tooth Is A Bad Idea:
10. At your grandmother’s funeral, it will be mildly inappropriate.
9. It makes Dave extremely uncomfortable.
8. In your imminent divorce trial, your wife will cite your tooth as an irreconcilable difference. The judge will agree, and give her all your money.
7. You really want to look at his mug every day? Really?
6. It looks like a cavity, but you PAID MONEY for it.
5. Dave hates your mouth.
4. Ever think about giving the honor to Brendan Fraser instead?
3. Someone with a gap like Dave’s should not be involved in any kind of dental work.
2. All you eat is chicken salad. And Dave HATES chicken salad.
1. You look like an idiot.
